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Page one [ritsuke]
I'm KohEnYan and my initials spell KEY. People sometimes call me onion and I do tend to respond. But thats only because onion sounds like enyan or I'm just playing along. This blog has a purpose as the first post states. I'm typing out what I think of boys but boy do I hope they never find this blog!
Page two [codenames]
boy[one] = aye
boy[two] = bidi
boy[three] = nna
Page three [miscellaneous]
major
minor
chromatic
contrary
diminished
dominant

tagboard here?
or links?

home theme inspiration inspiration color

you know, i partly chose this skin cos the boxes were small. I was expecting myself to upload short stuff! sadly, my long winded self... failed to do that. here is one just for memory that I really wanted it to be short lol.

I'm uuuuber guilty. I rarely remember to say my grace, I pray like once in a blue moon (not really but like once a week maybe?), I fantasize while other people are praying, I don't really listen during devotion, I don't listen to church messages, I sleep through my own father's preaching and sing songs of praise without really bothering about the lyrics. That really bothers me. Like I don't love God enough. Yea its true. I don't really know how to love. Or at least, I think I don't. Especially since i keep falling for a number of guys at one go. Can't even tell who I really like =.= i guess its nna for now. day in day out think of nna. day in day out think of stuff that could happen but never happen. sigh. Oh another thing that bothers me... All those worship songs we sing... they all have romantic tunes and stuff so I feel as if without their lyrics, they could be any kind of song. I try hard to take note of the lyrics now a days, hoping to mean what I say... In choir they always tell us to put our hearts into the song and stuff but it was always hard. and when we really did it, it was simply cos we really felt that way while singing. Its like, I'm a bad actress or something. I can't seem to feel something I don't feel and even when I do the feeling is so short, so small, so... NEGLIGIBLE. yea i just came back from a physics paper with all the "assume air resistance to be negligible" but i still cant spell negligible right. had to rely on the computer's bnf for that. or... maybe the spell check isnt bnf. whatever. okay so I've listed a total of three problems here. two are totally not supposed to be in this post but its all right. I have to come up with counter measures to my unGodlyness. GAH.

Yea. I have a problem. The problem is, I don't know what I want. Now, I always want to watch drama, read manga etcetc. but what is it that I really want? What do I gain from all that? Nice feelings? A good story? Also, I keep saying I want this and that event to happen with this and that boy but what do I really want? A boyfriend? Marriage kids? O.o I mean, it just doesn't seem like WHAT I WANT. So my life is a fleeting moment, meant to be spent for God. I agree on that. And all those other wants I have are side stuff. OKAYY... So, am I gonna come to the same conclusion as all the dramas I've watched so far? O.o they always say what, the small things that happen in life makes us happy. Am I really happy? Yea sometimes bidi does stuff and I go like, if he just did something like that to make me feel that way everyday my life would be set. But if that really happens I would want more wouldn't I? I wouldn't be satisfied with just that would I? Maybe now I think i will but most likely? No. HAHH. And just cos I go to sch and think to myself yay today I'll be able to see nna doesn't mean that when I see him, I really go happy. Sometimes I go sad cos nothing happened between us at all I simply saw him. Then I sing the "I wanna see you" song to myself and feel happy again. Yes I'm digressing I know but seriously... WHAT DO I WANT? simple as that. I want chocolates I want sweets I want Xingyi and I wanna watch kpop concerts. well actually, not really. LOL. SIGH. be content with the small things in life for now then. Got no other answer. And most importantly, don't forget to worship the lord with all your soul and all your heart and all your might and all your will and all your strength okay i think u get my point. haha.

Test test test! I'm back on blogger!!!! KYAHAHAHAHAHA. Thanks to flip for his wonderful troubleshooting (which shenhao once told me to do be4 i just forgot =.=) I HAVE THIS BLOGGY UP. Its really good cos i don't particularly want too many ppl reading it... cos its purpose is really... quite out of this world... not mind boggling but... ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVEN'T LOST YOUR SANITY ENYAN? yep. that's how I'd describe it. No better way of putting it (there might be but u get my point... maybe not.) ANYWAY, this blog is meant to be SECRET! SECRET MEANING ONLY MEANT FOR ME!!!!! So if you come across it, just cos I'm not good enough to know what I can do to put a password on this thing, DOESN'T... MEAN you can READ what you LIKE in this blog. EHEM. Just in case you do, I shall make sure to uphold enough ambiguity in each post so u know NOT who and what exactly I'm talking about (unless u were there experiencing it with me that is...) Now for the most important thing that I've really been ranting on and on about. THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG. ITS OBJECTIVES and so on... TO BREAK DOWN WHAT I THINK OF THE GUYS IN MY LIFE! Yes. I'm quite sure you feel that I am nothing but a ghost of myself. Actually, I quite agree. When was enyan this desperate? Even when she was in an all girl's school she wasn't that bad!? Ahaha... so... all that being said, I shall record about all the boys in my life using my utmost power and hopefully, in proper English. ( you know, this sentence already sounds wrong. it should be in my utmost power? how do I even use this phrase? hmm...) key~ P.S. oh. excluding my ehems, hrms, meows, ^_^s, and so on... (i doubt the list will ever end. proper english my FOOT. <--- incomplete sentence. FINE YOU. FINE. <-- more incomplete sentences. ALL RIGHT. I'M DONE WITH YOU! <-- some more incomplete sentences...)